Faye Parker Hathcock-Stanly, NC, Washington D.C., Atlanta, GA

Faye Parker Hathcock

Randall House, Stanly County, NC

     I grew up in the bridge generation of women's rights.  I watched my mother and grandmother live out that classic, TV familiar 1950s housewife role. They didn't cook dinner in heels and pearls but it was always on the table on time and the house was clean before the dad got home. Child care was 100% mom or grand mom's job. Only when all of the household chores were done could they take time for themselves. Trouble was they had honed those practices so well that they carried them through and well past the 60s era of feminism. These women were my primary role models and I am grateful for the social graces and homemaking skills I learned from them. They loved to cook and entertain for company and did it well. No guest went away hungry and often carried away a package of leftovers that was pressed upon them. It was only later, as an adult, that I recognized the restrictions and inequities my grandmother accepted and with which she lived.

      My grandparents essentially had an arranged marriage. My grandfather told me that one day shortly after he had finished college and returned home he went out riding on house calls with his doctor father . Almost home, they drove down a nearby street where his father pointed out the "Parker girls sitting on the front porch."  Dr. Tom told his son that they one of them would be an acceptable wife and that he should choose one. "So that's what I did," he told me. My grandmother was 24, had completed a music degree at Carolina College for Women but had limited employment opportunities except teaching voice and piano out of her home.  Her father had died when she was just 14 and her mother had recently remarried. Faye, her mother, Hattie, her sister, Jimmie, brothers, Tom and William, and the new stepfather all lived in the Parker home.  She may have seen marriage into one of the town's most successful families as her best choice. I never saw any affection exchanged between my grandparents. My Uncle Bill told me that the only time his father ever hugged him was the day he left for the war. I can't remember any physical contact with my grandfather but my grandmother hugged everyone! My grandfather provided a fine house, always drove a top-of-the-line car, and took my grandmother on expensive, lengthy cruises. But she had to account for all of her household expenditures and would not buy a new dress without asking him.  If he wasn't easily available to drive her to church or the grocery, she walked.

     I was lucky. Attending a somewhat liberal Catholic high school, reading and watching more of the popular press than my parents or grandparents ever had a chance to, I knew the concept of the liberated female. I embraced this intellectually but, I realize now, some of my early life choices were based on the female-submissive patterns I saw in my own sheltered world. Always outspoken (no one has ever accused me of being shy and retiring), it still took me a while to learn an independence.  It seems so trivial to say that most people are the products of their generation but there is much truth in that.  To my knowledge, my grandmother never challenged the role she played as wife, mother, and grandmother. She was subservient to the wishes of my grandfather, always subject to his financial and social control.

     This leads me to write about my grandmother, Faye Hathcock. She was a wonderful, generous, loving grandmother, a part of my childhood day to day life, and I miss her very much.  She seemed content. I hope she was but will never know. She left this world too soon.

                                    Faye Parker (1895-1964)

                                     My maternal grandmother

    Faye was born February 2, 1895, the second daughter to William Henry and Harriet Frances Davis Parker. Faye was born in Stanly County in central North Carolina in the historic plantation home known as the Randall House. Her grandfather had bought the John Randall farm in 1850. In time, the land and a mill passed to Faye's father. This was an area of some of the richest farmland in NC, at the confluence of the Pee Dee and Rocky Rivers, part of the Cotton Belt. Faye had a younger sister born nineteen months after her, and a younger brother eighteen months after that. There were three more brothers that followed over the next eight years. Sadly in September 1902, when Faye was seven, her brother, William, died at age 3.

    In 1895, the nearest town, Norwood, had a population of about 600 and had only recently seen the arrival of the railroad which connected it more readily to the outside world, Salisbury and Albemarle.  It was a few more years before the town had its first major industry, a new cotton mill.

    Faye's early years were spent on the farm. Her mother and father worked the farm together and operated a mill and a small store on the farm that sold general supplies.

    In 1908, after a large barn fire destroyed his livestock, her father moved the family to Norwood and had a succession of managers to run the farm. Their home was a two-and-one-half story Colonial Revival built about 1905. He continued to operate the Pee Dee Mill on a corner of their farm on the Rocky River. In July 1909, William Henry Parker died very suddenly of ptomaine poisoning. Faye was just 14.

    Faye attended the local high school. She joined the YWCA and in June 1916 attended their conference in at Ridgecrest, NC about 20 miles east of Asheville.  She was an active member of the Norwood Methodist Church. In 1916, she continued her education at Carolina Women's College in Maxton, NC. In May 1917, she was awarded a Certificate in Music.

    Faye married Bernard Dunlap Hathcock September 3, 1919 at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. It was reported as a big event at the time since his father was a doctor and both their families were prominent in Norwood.

    They immediately moved to Washington, DC where Dunlap was employed in an audit and legal position with the Internal Revenue Service.  In January 1921, the first of four children was born, their son Bernard Dunlap Hathcock, Jr. Seventeen months later, in August 1922, their daughter Anna arrived, probably named after Dunlap's sister, Anna Caroline, who had died as an infant of whooping cough. Seventeen months after that, William Parker Hathcock was born in March 1924. Another twenty-on months and Irma Louise arrived in December 1925.

    By this time, Dunlap was still employed by the Treasury Department but also maintained a private legal practice. In 1940, now head of the Office of the Treasury Processing Board of Review and presumably with a larger salary, they moved to 5314 New Hampshire Ave in Washington DC.
   
    In 1942, daughter Anna married Sterling Bertram Burroughs. In May 2007, Anna told her daughter Kathy that Anna's father was not present at her wedding.  He didn't approve of the marriage.  Anna and Sterling were married in the parsonage of the Methodist church in D.C. Anna's mother had snuck away and was there, along with sister, Irma, as the maid of honor.   Dave Davenport was the best man.  Anna was 19 years old.   

    WWII began and in 1943. Faye saw both her sons leave for combat.  Her eldest son, Bernie,  left to fly in B-26s in the European theatre. Bernard was stationed in England and France and completed 65 missions over enemy territory. He was awarded the Air Medal with Oak Leaf Cluster. Bernie was awarded a Purple Heart for a bullet would to his foot. Her younger son, Bill, enlisted in the U.S. Army even though he only had three years of high school. He served with the US Army in the Infantry during WWII and contracted malaria while serving in the Philippines and the Solomons.  He was in Luzon for part of the time.  Bill was part of the "clean up campaign", participating in at least three invasions.

    In early 1944, Dunlap was transferred to Atlanta, GA and they bought the home at 1553 Johnson Road in the Morningside area. Dunlap served as a judge in the Tax Court.  Dunlap retired from the Treasury in 1950 after thirty years, and entered private practice as an investment counselor. He had an office in downtown Atlanta in the Five Points area for a few years and then relocated his practice to his home. He converted the butler's pantry to an office and had a ticker tape machine installed.

    Even after their children were married, they returned to live with Faye and Dunlap as circumstances warranted and Faye nursed, cooked and cleaned for all. In 1944, daughter Anna was now pregnant and her husband, Sterling, was serving with the Coast Guard. She came to Atlanta and lived with her parents, giving birth to Faye's first granddaughter, Nancy, on September 9, 1944.. Nancy was born at Lawson General in Chamblee, GA. Kathy was born to them in February 1949.

    In February 1945, Bernie married Helyn Margie Kampen. Ten months later their first child, Laurel, was born. Bernie was stationed in Dodge City, Kansas after his marriage but Laurel was born in Atlanta.   They may have been living with Faye and Dunlap. Or, perhaps, just Helyn came to Atlanta. Son, Lee, was born in June 1953.

    In May 1945, Irma married Thomas Alwood Travis, a student at Georgia Tech in the Naval Program. She had graduated from Georgia State Junior College in 1945 and was working in an insurance agency. Sometime in early 1946, Irma, still living at home, announced she was married and pregnant. She and husband, Tom, moved into the Johnson Road home and lived there until some time after the birth of daughter, Linda, in July 1946. Gwen was born in November 1949 and Joyce in June 1953.

    In September 1947, youngest son, Bill, married, Elizabeth Bennett. There first son, Bill, Jr., was born October 1948. Stephen was born in April 1952, Larry in June 1953, and Randy in 1958.

    An enthusiastic and welcoming grandmother of eleven, Faye frequently had multiple grandchildren in her home.  Sometimes just to babysit while the parents were out for a Friday or Saturday night but other times it was overnight or week long visits. If a grandchild stayed over a Saturday night, the morning brought a whirlwind of breakfast, dressing up in proper clothes, and attendance at the Methodist Church.  If the weather was good, it was a walk to church. Otherwise, Dunlap would drive and drop everyone off in front of the Haygood Methodist Church. 

    Faye was very active with her church, singing in the choir, playing piano, and preparing food for the fellowship activities. Several grandchildren attended the vacation bible schools at her church. She was an accomplished seamstress and, in addition to sewing clothes for herself, her daughters and grandchildren, provided many items for the church bazaars.

    At age 69, Faye died December 23, 1964 at Crawford Long Hospital in Atlanta fourteen hours after a cerebral hemorrhage.